These men are everywhere. They are your friends. They are your neighbours. They are your church brothers. They are your family members. They are your colleagues. They are even your business partners. Look around carefully. You know one or more of these kinds of men.
They are men who don’t understand the sanctity of marriage. They don’t care about their families’ reputation when it comes to sampling women of different shapes and sizes. They don’t care about the feelings of their wives. They play away matches even closer home and dare their wives to complain.
These men don’t care about what the holy book says about their activities. They are just enjoying their lives. They are having fun at the expense of their wives. They are husbands of the single and married.
You can’t say you haven’t met one. You know those men who are so married, but act so single that you begin to wonder whether something is wrong with their wives for putting up with their escapades with smiling faces with their voices growing coarse with endless prayers.
You must know a man like that. Every neighbourhood has someone who goes after both single and married women in their quest for sexual conquest and unending thirst for orgasmic pleasures.
Don’t you have a man in your church whose foreign drilling reputation precedes him? Don’t you know someone like that whose neighbours warn their young daughters not to get close to?
Don’t you have a friend who prefers to chase women to the detriment of his family, while defending his actions with ‘Men are polygamous by nature’ famous anthem?
Don’t you know a man who doesn’t care if a single lady is engaged to be married as he goes after her like a hunter goes after his prey with precision, resilience and hunger? Then when he has had his way with her, he dumps her and moves on in search of another prey.
Don’t you know a man whose stock in trade is to have sex with married women? He doesn’t even care if the woman he’s drooling over is his buddy’s treasure? Such men don’t understand what friendship and loyalty mean.
All they want is to enjoy what their friend is eating every night. When they visit you, it’s not because they just want to see how you are faring, they are salivating at the hips of your wife. They undress her with their eyes and imagine themselves in her temple, while you are busy asking them what they would like to drink.
Have you not heard of men who keep both single and married lovers and he’s an ardent church goer? Some of them are pastors, deacons and choir masters. Yet, their insatiable desire for other men’s women cannot be cured by their many religious exercises.
Have you not seen men who would abandon their wives and children for married women? And you ask, what is he looking for? She’s as married as his wife yet they prefer her oil rig to that of their wives at home.
Such men act hard and unromantic with their wives, yet, they are gentlemen with their side dishes both single and married. They treat them right, show them affection. Take them to places they won’t ordinarily take their wives to.
May God never allow our daughters end up with such men, say amen. Fathers, may God never allow your precious daughters whom you love so much end up with men who don’t have respect for them. May they never end up with men who would damage them emotionally and psychologically with their sexual escapades.
Husbands of today, may God never allow your beautiful and brilliant daughters end up with men who cheat on them with both single and married women, say a big amen. Such men leave nothing but tears, heartbreak and hurts in their wake. Some women never really recover emotionally and psychologically living with such men.
Do you now understand why you must say amen to my prayers? Do you understand why we should stop telling the wives of such men that as long as he takes care of his family, he is free to shag both single and married women?
Growing up, I knew a man like that. He was a tailor. He had a wife and four children. His son was my classmate in primary school. He was known for being a husband to single and married women.
No one around him was spared his wandering rod. He was sleek, handsome and slimy. He had a voice that would make women feel hot down there. He knew he had charms and he unleashed them on these women. Poor women, they just couldn’t resist him.
His wife was the laughing stock of our neighbourhood then. She would walk with her face down and avoided clashes with the neighbours because they would use any opportunity to remind her of the last person her husband tilled her wet ground.
This woman kept hearing stories about her husband’s many sexual encounters with different women. She begged him to stop. She cried. She called family members and they told her to leave the man alone that he is a man with urges. She became a shadow of herself. She kept enduring his disrespect.
Fast forward to five years ago, she became ill. Her husband took her to their village, left her there and came back to Lagos to continue living his life. He went to the stadium to exercise twice a week to remain fit for his many women. His wife was languishing in the village battling different ailments.
Their children started spending money to take care of her. The ironic part was that after 30 years of being the wife of a community rod, this woman kept holding on to him and blaming the ladies for destroying her marriage. She refused to blame him for his actions. It was easier for her to blame the ladies than call her husband to order.
While she was still battling to get her health back, this man lied to his son that he needed to fix his car to travel to see his mom. He sent him money. He went ahead last December to marry a new wife. She is 25 years old. He said he won’t stop living because of a woman who refuses to get well.
So, the next time you see that neighbourhood husband in your area, say a prayer for his wife because she’s going through a lot. And before you jump to justify his actions, remember that your daughter might end up with a man like that and then, how will you feel?