You have heard it many times that long-term relationships eventually and inevitably become flat and boring. Many people believe this myth and expect this to occur to them.
When they experience moments in which feelings of attraction, desire, or sexual excitement are not powerfully stimulating, they assume that the flame has gone out and that the future is bleak and uninspiring.
Possessed by this expectation, many couples’ relationships face a downward trajectory that often ends in separation or worse.
While it is impossible to prevent stale moments from occurring, it is possible to strengthen the substance of a relationship in a way that minimizes their impact and diminishes their frequency to a significant degree.
Couples just have to keep their relationships fresh, passionate, and exciting whether they are 20 or 60. Keeping love alive requires infusing their lives and marriages with more fun and pleasure.
These men and women reveal how they keep romance alive in their marriages.
Adeyemi: My wife and I stay glued to each other through compliments
Sometimes, when you see someone every day, you can start taking them for granted. I don’t forget to tell my wife when she looks and smells nice. We have been married for nine years and we still love each other. It has become the secret to making her smile and ready for sex anytime I feel like it.
When she does something I am proud of, or when I have really enjoyed spending time together, I compliment her. Humans thrive on praise and positive feedback, and instinctively want to do whatever it takes to get more of it. So, if you want more kisses, more sex and a wife who never stops loving you, make sure that you acknowledge and compliment her all the time. Don’t take your wife for granted.
Claire: We don’t stop dating each other
Married Nigerian couples should know that dates aren’t exclusively for young lovers; they can be magic for couples who have been together for a while. Leaving the home provides a change of scenery and enlivens things for both partners. But staying home for a date can be fun, too if you set a romantic tone. My husband and I make dates a regular feature of our relationship. Our dates are not limited to a few hours on an occasional evening; they can last an entire day, weekend, or longer.
Kingsley: We go on honeymoon every three years
I am a believer of renewing the feelings of honeymoons among couples. I have been married for 16 years now and my wife and I go on honeymoons every three years. We leave our children with their grandparents and focus on pleasing and loving each other alone for two weeks. It has become our marriage tradition. Honeymoons aren’t just for the newly married. Couples who have been married for a decade need to incorporate honeymoons into their relationship to keep the love that brought them together alive after many years.
Patricia: We keep our romance alive by bathing together
It is delightful to spend an evening together, you and your spouse in your own bathtub. It doesn’t cost much other than perfumed body washes and scented candles to set the mood for romance and hot sex afterwards. Going into the tub with each other by candlelight enhances the spirit of romance. We take turns servicing each other. We bathe each other and wash each other’s bodies. I shave his face and he shaves my legs. That’s pure bliss for married couples.
Obiageli: We keep love alive by feeding each other
My husband and I have been married for eight years now. We agreed beforehand to feed each other when eating. Sometimes, our children laugh at us when we do this, but we explain to them that it brings mummy and daddy closer.
We know some couples who have done this in restaurants, often to the surprise of other diners. When we go out, we sit across the corner of the table, so that we can be close to each other. We then take turns to feed each other, while looking at each other’s eyes like teenagers in love.
Francis: My wife and I dance in private a lot
On days I get home early from work, my wife and I dance closely. After dinner, we listen to music together and dance. Because we love our privacy, we dance with each other in our bedroom. One of the advantages of doing that include dancing naked and you know what follows dancing naked and looking at your woman’s body. Many times, my wife and I dance nude and end up in bed doing sexy things to each other’s bodies.
Chisom: Hubby and I create time to be with each other
I pity couples who claim that there’s not enough time to create loving moments with their partners. In life, there is always enough time, depending on how you choose to prioritize it. Unfortunately, many couples assign higher priority to their jobs, businesses, social activities and commitments other than their relationships.
It is necessarily because they don’t value their relationships, but because they inadvertently take their spouses for granted and create the false belief that they can afford to neglect their connection, or put it on cruise control. They assume that since they are committed, their relationship is solid and doesn’t require the time, attention, and energy it did in the early, less secure days.
It is a big mistake to take your spouse for granted and assume that your marriage doesn’t require care and attention. If neglect continues for too long, it can be a recipe for disaster. After several years, it’s easy to take your spouse for granted. Couples might slide into just being roommates or business partners, or, if they are raising children, co-parents. If those roles come to define the relationship, the vital component of being lovers can get squeezed out.
My husband of over 12 years and I spend time together as often as we can. We create time to be with each other weekly. We go on date nights. We see recent movies together in the cinemas. We go on lunch dates, when it is convenient. We don’t stop dating each other. It takes our time and efforts but our relationship is never boring.
Samuel: We give each other massages
I love it whenever my wife massages my neck and shoulders after a long, hard day. It’s soothing and relaxing. It also makes me horny. Many couples don’t know that massage is another great way to keep romance alive. You don’t need a massage table or fancy scented oils—and you don’t have to be a professionally-trained masseuse or masseur to bring a loving touch. What matters is the thought behind it and the pleasure we give to each other. This is how we keep romance alive in our relationship. I have been married for 13 years now and I am still in love with my life like the first time we started dating.
Yemisi: My husband and I buy each other gifts
To some couples; buying gifts as a means of keeping romance alive might seem like a bit of a cliché, but it works! In my experience, it works best if the gifts are very personal; they don’t need to be expensive, but they do need to show that you have been thinking about your spouse.
Once, I bought hubby a book by his favourite author, delivered it to his office without his knowledge. It showed him that I know something about him. One day, hubby delivered my favourite perfume at home, while I was on leave. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day or our anniversary, but he did it just to put a smile on my face. That night, our bed heard it, because we had many rounds of sex.