Laide Raheem, Abeokuta A gubernatorial aspirant on the platform of the African Democratic Congress (ADC) in Ogun state, Gboyega Nasir Isiaka, has lamented the deplorable condition of township roads, particularly at the border towns and blamed the current administration for focussing only roads that “suit their ego and corruptly enrich their pockets.” He accused the…
Sex is a sexual activity while orgasm is sexual climax. Orgasm is the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement and sensations during sexual intercourse.
While men who have sex very often experience orgasm almost all the time, not everyone experiences same especially women. In fact, some women have never experienced orgasm in their lives and some are likely never going to because their partners only know how to plug and unplug.
When something is wrong with a man sexually, it is obvious when time comes for sexual intercourse. Some men are endowed and also have stamina in bed, yet they are ‘one minute men’ who are barely erect for 20 seconds and they have discharged. Before you know it, they are already flat and out. There are men who never have any form of erection because they are impotent. So it is evident when all is well with a man sexually from erection till he climaxes.
But the same cannot be said of a woman. It can be really hard to understand the female orgasm. The reason men keep asking their women ‘have you cum?’ or ‘how many times did you cum?’ Some women are very wet and even discharge when sex is happening, but have never experienced any form of exciting sensation or pleasure that leads to the discharge.
So listen up! Give me your attention, class is in session. The best sex for most women starts long before the clothes come off. One thing for sure is that sex can be enjoyed even if she doesn’t experience orgasm. Women more often than men find sex to be pleasurable even if they do not climax. They feel pleasure when touched in the right places.
Most women enjoy the intimacy and attention that sex provides from passionate kiss, caressing, warmth, closeness, eye contact, sweet words etc. Just that feeling and knowing you are holding her like she’s the only thing that matters most is good enough for her.
Men, you need to stop obsessing over your partner’s orgasm and staying longer during sex. Many women are very conscious of you taking too long to cum that they even end up faking orgasm or deciding to go without it, moaning loudly for nothing, just to get you off their body. Staying long on it doesn’t mean she will reach orgasm.
Women most times find it easier to reach orgasm if they are relaxed and comfortable with their partner. A brain-imaging study by Swedish researchers shows that relaxation is the single most important factor in bringing a woman to orgasm. Even a quickie can give some relaxed women multiple orgasms in 5 minutes.
You can help your woman relax by addressing relationship issues that she has complained about. Talk about her needs for affection and intimacy and try to meet them. Be positive about issues she’s anxious about, and compliment her appearance.
The human body has erogenous spots and these areas heighten sensitivity when touched, the stimulation may generate a sexual response, such as relaxation. These zones when caressed can be orgasmic. Some women experience orgasm from such touches.
You don’t just grab your woman and head straight to opening her legs wide and thrusting away, asking if she is enjoying it or if she has cum so that you can cum yourself. How is she supposed to cum when you are just having sex with yourself?
You have to make your woman want you inside her. During foreplay, gently brush the top, bottom, and sides of her breasts, these areas are very sensitive. Gradually move in towards her nipples, and pay attention to how she responds.
Work on her body using your tongue, hands, body, your eyes, nose, your deep breath and even your legs before the clothes come off. Satisfy her before the real intercourse. When it comes to a quickie, foreplay may be foregone but don’t make it a habit of always rushing to thrust.
Don’t always rush foreplay because women usually take a little time to warm up to sex and when you speed past her needs to the finish line it makes you seem selfish and uncaring. Spend some time focusing on her entire body instead of going straight to thrusting. Try caress, lick, or nibble on her erogenous zones, her neck, back, ears, belly, thighs, or wrists.
While thrusting may be awesome, it doesn’t always allow you to experiment with what drives her wild. It is very easy to stick with what works for you and bore her with the same predictable opening and closing act over and over again. No matter how well your favourite move works, routine sex can become boring. And when she is bored, orgasm becomes like a mirage.
Keep your woman relaxed by meeting her needs. Men, be romantic! Have a sense of responsibility. Don’t wait to be reminded of your duties as a man. Be supportive of the issues that interest your woman. Have a good dress sense and carriage. Improve on your own personal hygiene too.
A woman’s orgasm is no rocket science. A relaxed and happy woman will have multiple orgasms even before you are ready to dig deep. So, work on that body, that even the thought of your touch gives her orgasms.