– The Sun News

How healthy is your sex fetish?

Few days ago , I was watching a program  on a DSTV channel and something caught my attention. A man enjoyed getting wrapped from head to toe in a manner that prevents his movements much like the Egyptian mummy. This man was into it with his wife who  helped him do the wrapping and leaves him there overnight and he derives sexual satisfaction from it.This is called mummification fetish.

It sounds crazy doesn’t it?

Well, if you think these people are westerners, let me share one that happened here in our country. A young lady posted  a message on social media that  she just met a guy but what baffles her is that her boyfriend enjoys eating her pubic hair and she wanted to know if she should leave him because she was afraid he might be doing it for ritual.

I remember I shared that story on my timeline and it caught fire. Many who commented believed it was for rituals but I didn’t see it that way because I knew about  sexual fetishes.  It’s gross right?  It’s called pubephilia .

A lady I used to know told me she enjoyed being choked during sex and I was surprised at that time, because I really couldn’t understand what choking had to do with getting orgasm. But there are people who enjoy this and it’s called erotic asphyxiation.

I remember when I read one of the books written about Adolf Hitler, when I was much younger and I think that was the first place I came about the words “sexual fetish”. In the book, I learnt  Adolph Hitler had a sexual fetish; he enjoyed women defecating on  him during sex. This type of sex fetish is called Coprophilia or scatophilia.This is disgusting but some people  enjoy it.

Also, there are people who love role playing during sex; they might dress up like a doctor, nurse, pilot or lawyer all in the bid to achieve  orgasm.

Moreover, we also have  foot fetish. For these people, every details of the foot can get them going and the majority of foot fetishists are men and they also like to smell, lick or taste the feet  during sex.

Another one is, voyeurism fetish. These people get turned on by looking at people having sex or just staring at naked bodies. A lot of people are into this but are not aware, because so many people take watching pornography for granted. If you have porn on your phone, laptop, desktop and even pictures of naked ladies or men in your room then, I am certain you are into voyeurism.

Since the advent of 50 shades of grey, the dominance and submission culture had become very popular between some couples. They believe this is a healthy sex life but it’s not because some partners require a sort of  foreplay before they are sexually stimulated.

Another very popular one is  body piercing and  people who get their body pierced are easily attracted to people who get their body pierced too. These people pierce everything  including tongues, belly buttons, eyebrows, nipples and penises. Sometimes, it just takes a look  from a person with the piercing to get turned on, or it might be the feel of rubbing anything  metallic on their skin that gets them aroused.  Hair is also a popular fetish as well as  cross dressing, water, thunder and lightning.

Let me stop here because there are still many more, but the fact remains that these things are not natural; they are bizarre and sometimes very dangerous.

Interestingly, these things are no longer far off; we have people who are very much into these among us. Don’t be deceived by their looks or their frequent visits to places of worship. That way of life is their little secret and they keep it well wrapped.

Nigerians are sexually adventurous and so sex fetishes are not just an oyinbo thing. Many of these sex fetishes are not mere fantasies. They’re  different from fantasies.  Sexual fantasies are things you think of while having sex but often times they don’t come to reality. But sex fetish is something that has to be present for you to achieve arousal or orgasm.   

Where exactly do sex fetishes come from?  Many sex behavior experts don’t agree on what might be the cause of these but many of these sex fetishes can be traced to childhood or it can also come from seeing inappropriate sexual behavior or from sexual abuse.

I am going to digress a little here, dear parents, watch your kids closely, and don’t just leave them to anyone. They are on holidays now.Who are they with? Are they safe with that person? When you get back home, no matter how tired they are, please ask them about their day. I pray no one ends up with children with distorted or bizarre sexual choices.

On the other hand, we should be weary of whatever we are getting into in order to get sexual pleasures.  There are many disadvantages in these sexual choices. For instance, if you are involved in hematolagnia, which  involves seeking sexual gratification through blood and bleeding, this can get you into trouble. Through this fetish,  you can be infected with  HIV or hepatitis.

Another typically dangerous one is the choking fetish. Asphyxiation is dangerous because it involves cutting off oxygen supply to the brain while climaxing. This is usually done with a plastic bag over the head and this is extremely dangerous and can lead to death.

Some people get sexual pleasure when insects crawl upon them .They make use of insects like ants and spiders and these can cause infections and allergic reactions.

Moreover, some people  practice sadomasochism which is giving or receiving pleasure and humiliation during  sex. Often times, this play can be violent , like torturing, hitting and cutting. These practices   can become a health hazard.

Don’t let anyone deceive you that sex fetishes are safe and I really don’t think these things are done for ritual.  Many people who are into them do so  only for pleasure and some have psychiatric problems that are not yet diagnosed. How can a sane person be aroused only by torturing or bleeding?  So, please, I beg you in the name of  whatever creator you serve, don’t listen to any random person who asks you to take part in it for money or for whatever reasons. If you must agree, be very sure of that person’s mental status before you proceed. For some of these people, it becomes an obsession and it takes control of their sex lives. Researchers have noted several sexual fetishes that venture into dangerous realms and can cause serious health threats.

Remember, not everything is acceptable just because you want to be sexually satisfied. If you don’t want to end up in a body bag or if you don’t want to nurse a disease for the rest of your life, before you jump into that sexual adventure ask these questions like:

Is this act criminal?

Is it harmful?

Is it going to humiliate me?

Although I am not in the position to label anyone abnormal in their sexual preferences because it’s typical of every human to want to justify what is running through his or her mind when they are seeking pleasure, but never force or cajole anyone who is not willing into your sexual escapades.  If there is mutual consent and the person is not a minor, then no problem.

However, if you are afraid that getting pleasure in any of these bizarre ways is taking over your life, then go seek standard treatment which includes talk therapy or a visit to a psychiatrist or counselor. Remember, sex is a beautiful creation from God.



Re: When you’re sexually attracted to your brother or sister in-law

Feeling  attracted to a brother  or sister in-law is disgusting  and an abomination. I pray that couples take corrective measure. Thanks for providing possible solutions. –Atunwa, K. D

Bolatito, truly Christian faithful are not unaware of strange happenings around the world; including odd sexual relationships by mutual or coerced means. To such faithful, such strange occurrences are linked to undoubtable “end-time signs” prediction of the Bible.  –Lai Ashadele

Some mothers-in-law do have sex with their daughter’s husbands too.  -–God bless.

Sexual attraction is generally more of a call of nature than of a choice. And again it enters stealthily. Being sexually attracted to one’s brother or sister in-law is not an exception. Bola, it will be better off  to  sensitize people and advise them with love and affection against  incest   than labeling them.

–Socrates, Awka 0803**5*965

It’s totally execrable, unconventional and not accepted by the both faiths, even the traditionalists. Abomination!

–Afolabi Eludini, Ajah, Lagos.

Good morning. I Just read your piece on sexual attraction between  in-laws. You wrote brilliantly. Sexual attraction between  in-laws is really destroying many homes. It must be dealt with seriously. Besides, people are enjoying this ugly trend. It is happening daily. But masturbation that you recommended is sinful.  –Sam

Dear Bolatito,

I have just finished reading your  Sunday Sun column. At 3pm this afternoon, I was at Mr Biggs with my wife’s half brother’s daughter. We have agreed to explore the possibility of a relationship. She lived with us once as our maid before she attended a higher institution. What do you think about us? Mind you those who are in the game arena do not see much as the spectators.  –09082…974



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