Don’t tell me, ‘it just happened.’ Don’t tell me; ‘it was a mistake.’ Pregnancy is not a mistake!  It can never be, because the phallus doesn’t just penetrate a woman. Two people made a decision and so the end result was pregnancy. Please spare us the tears; you made a bad decision and so live with the consequences.
Long gone are the days when men fell for the pregnancy gimmick, right now guys are a lot smarter. They know what they want and even if you are carrying Jesus in your womb they won’t marry you.
Babes, pregnancy does not equal marriage! Pregnancy doesn’t guarantee you the title Mrs. Don’t destroy your future and marry a man who doesn’t love you, because you are pregnant for him. If he doesn’t treat you right now, he won’t when you’re pregnant for him.
If your once upon a time prince charming doesn’t want to go on the forever journey with you, then shake it off and think of good alternatives. Wipe away your tears and face the future. Sit him down and make plans for the baby. Stop the tears! It won’t make him change his plans. You were never in his future in the first place; you only fell for his manipulation, so go deal with it.
Moreover, I am not an agony aunty that will pat you on the back and tell you how horrible men are or throw a pity party for you. I’ll tell you the truth and I don’t care if it hurts you or not. After all, you weren’t raped, it was consensual sex and you enjoyed it.
In the first instance, why give him your cookies when you knew so well that he won’t marry you? Please spare me the tales that he lied to you, because a guy, who will not marry you, will always give you signs and the one who will marry you will show it.
Obviously, you saw the red flag but you chose to ignore it.
Moreover, must you sleep with every guy who promises you marriage? Even if he promised you marriage what moves has he made? Has he proposed to you? Did he go to see your parents? Okay, let me assume he did tell you to get pregnant for him. Why didn’t you put your brain to use when you have one? Why didn’t you tell him to make some solid moves? You don’t just let a man whisper sweet nothings into your ears and then you allow him free access into your oil well.
The two of you cooked a sumptuous meal of sin, spiced it up and devoured it. You didn’t call us.  You both had unprotected sex, which is irresponsible. If you are not ready to be a father or mother you should both know you should use protection, if you can’t abstain. You are not afraid for your life, you are not even thinking of STDs?
Oh, he told you he preferred flesh to flesh. He told you he found you attractive and he only does sex without condoms with women he loves. And you fell for all those cheap lies? Shame on you sister!
As a sharp babe you shouldn’t be caught doing this Stone Age runs. Yes, it’s Stone Age runs to sleep with a guy without protection. It’s foolish. Now, he wants you to get rid of that child and you want to go ahead to do what he wants and probably start afresh again with him. Is he using juju on you?
I don’t understand why you should go back to a guy who treated you badly after you got pregnant? Or is there something you are not telling us?  You better learn, if you abort this pregnancy for him, how many more will you abort for him? Running away from a problem is not a lasting solution. I understand it’s your body but this bros will not marry you if you abort this child.
Sis, pull yourself together and start making plans for this baby we are all expecting. You have made bad choices in the past and please don’t compound it. Think!
Of course I won’t forget you bros! Let us agree she was a fool for not seeing through all the deceit but you are also the bigger fool for not taking up your responsibility too. You are a coward for running away from your battles.
I am not saying you should marry a woman you don’t love but promising a woman marriage just because you want to get in between her legs is cheap.  If you want a girl to be your shag buddy let her know there is no future in this. Kai! You have no conscience at all, you didn’t even remember the days she washed your smelly boxers, the days she cooked those delicious meals and with all these you didn’t marry her?
Honestly, I am not interested in pricking your conscience since you don’t have one but what I am particular about is you taking up your responsibility. Be a man! If you can get a woman pregnant you should be man enough to rise to the task of raising that child. You had unprotected sex with her and so you should also take care of the child too.  This child didn’t ask to be born but because of your inability to control your sexual appetite you got into this mess.
Women, please love with your hearts and brains intact.


Re: Are you are virtuous woman? Please have a rethink

Hello Madam Bolatito,
I read your piece on virtuous woman and I almost laughed my head off. Only God knows how many men you would have castrated. Remember the biblical Sarah; if she thought like you, I don’t think God would answer her.  You think it’s only men that are bad? What about some women that appear like angels but inside they are devils incarnate? Stop attacking men o! Bola you have a father. I wonder how you treat your man at home. You must be a tigress.
–Yinka from Lagos.

Lovely write up sis on virtuous woman. May your ink never run dry.  – Myke

“Treat your woman like a queen and she will treat you like a king”! Good summary to an even better article. More grease to your elbow.

This is the best article I have read so far concerning what women are going through. Please tell them and don’t stop. It will definitely save a lot of women. Many have lost their lives or are treating high blood pressure or STDs. Thank you, may the Lord bless you.  –080396…..281

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Bolatito, good write up. I believe in submission and love as written in the Bible as God’s commandment and divine experimental equation to nourish, energize or procreate and sustain marriage but not the perverted type you illustrated. Marriage is meant for people who are determined to be responsible in it and not for the profane who desecrate the union of joy, synergy and procreation ordained and consecrated by God. You are right on point.  – Rev Arize Nwobu

Thank you for the beautiful article on virtuous woman in Sunday Sun. However, how many women read newspapers? I was a FIDA chairman and up till now, I get idiot women who take all kinds of rubbish from their husbands all in the name of being submissive. Is there any way to reach out to all women to think with their brains and not their hearts? –Miriam

Good write up. Women and men should learn, it’s a good thing for men/women to marry but not a must that men/women should stay in a dangerous marriage. It must be according to an Igbo adage “the buyer is a king, seller is a king” partnership of love. It’s even more risky for the man; many women have killed their husbands through direct poisoning because of this ill treatment.
–Igwe PHC

We sin everyday by interpreting the bible wrongly to suit our whims and caprices. Man owns love and must give the full dose to the woman he loves. The woman is to respond or reciprocate by submitting herself. It’s foolish for any woman to submit herself to a man who does not love her in all things and be ready to die for her. Bible says that a man must love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave His life for it. It simply means that a man must be ready to die for the woman he loves and the woman must submit. How can a woman submit to a drunkard or a man of many wives?  –Godwin

Bolatito, virtuous woman, in the class of the one in your piece in the Twenty First Century is absolutely imaginary. Even among the unenlightened, one could hardly find such a virtuous woman. Let me not contest your allegation against pastors who use “spiritual” position to compel their virtuous wards to hang on to abusive marital relationships. How many of these “pastors” are truly men of True God? If such a pastor is subjected to proper screening, he might likely be found to have contact with evil spirits. It takes a pilot of evil doctrine to compel his ward to ask a maltreated virtuous woman to persist in such relationship no matter what. Religion has been so commercialized these days, in line with end-time prediction, that one has to take some of these pastors’ spiritual prescriptions with a pinch of salt. The virtuous woman in your article needs cranial cleansing for sure. Kilode?
–Lai Ashadele