Emeka Oparah
One of the conundrums or ironies, if you may, of the mobile phone revolution in Nigeria, and everywhere for that matter, is that as it connected and reconnected people, it also separated them.
How? I don’t know about you, but I was brought up in an era when friends and families exchanged visits, planned joint outings and even vacations. In those days, two or more friends would decided to travel to Mbaise for Christmas in a convoy. We stopped at Ore for bananas and peanuts, stopped in Benin for cold drinks and at Umunede for lunch. In short we related in person and kept close tabs.
Today, the mobile phones have quite ironically put a sharp knife into what kept us together. It started by helping us reconnect with old friends, distant families and schoolmates and former colleagues and even our ex’s. Then, from talking regularly, we stopped exchanging visits. How’s Emeka,” a mutual friend or classmate would ask, and you’d hear something like, “we’ve not seen each other in over 10 years, but we talk and chat always”! Imagine that. Even siblings drifted apart. Families!!!
It got even worse, when BBM, WhatsApp, Facebook and other social media platforms arrived. Even parents and their children formed online groups, where they kept tabs and even exchanged photos and videos. They hardly talked. At home everyone held a device. Family time disappeared. Everyone to himself! People focused on their devices at meal times and while in the car or plane and kept to themselves. We have lost touch, yes, we have!!!
Why am I lamenting this morning? I lost two good friends recently. I cannot forgive myself for not making the time to call or visit them-and bang… I saw their obituaries. One is them is wonderful Bukola Bridget Afolabi Aroloye and the other another wonderful soul Dipo Ojo-Osagie.
I was still on vacation abroad when I got the news of the birth of Bukola’s twins. I did welcome her to club of Iya Bejis as a Baba Ibeji myself. The last time I saw her, at an event, which she covered with other journalists, I teased her about her humongous protuberance which I suspected contained more than one. And here I was planning and planning upon my return to give her a call and then pay her a visit. The next thing I heard was Bukola had passed away. Oh Lord! May her soul Rest In Peace.
Then, Dipo. Dashing. Handsome. Brilliant. Smart. Always helpful. Very eager. Exciting. And Dipo died too! Wow! You know there are some people you’ll never think they’ll ever die. Dipo was one of them, for me. Ever so lively and effervescent. I met him through Utibe Ukim, then PR Manager at ADC Airlines. Dipo was Marketing Manager. An affable dude, he was devastated, like all of us, when the airline suffered its first crash-and we lost close friends. That was when I got a feel of Dipo’s soft and gentle heart. I lived just across the road from ADC’s Head Office, and my small BQ was like a chilling zone for them while they managed the initial aftermath of that terrible plane crash.
Dipo died early this year, unbeknownst to me!!! I learnt he was indisposed and again, I kept planning to “surprise” him with a visit. I never got round to doing it-and it hurts so bad. I would have felt better if I met him one last time to see his zealous face one more time. Chai!!!Rest In Peace, Bro! We sure will meet again at the last re-union in the Grand Lodge above.
My dear friends, please let’s keep in touch with friends and family, not necessarily because they may die but because it is the appropriate thing to do. These BBMs, WhatsApp and Facebook chats won’t (and can’t) save the world or keep our relationships. Talk to people. Make time to visit. Memories, great memories, are made of times we spent together and the good deeds we did in life.
Have a great day. May the souls of Dipo and Bukola and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, Rest In Peace. Amen.