By CHRISTY ANYANWU Tewa Onasanya is a mindset coach who holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Pharmacology from the University of Portsmouth, United Kingdom. She is the founder and chief executive of Exquisite Magazine, a fashion, beauty and lifestyle publication for women. Exquisite magazine organizes the Exquisite Cancer Walk, the event aimed at increasing…
lunch with Jasmine as usual was fun and exciting; she regaled me as always with her past ‘sexcapades’, I laughed so much and temporarily forgot my troubles. Jasmine is that type of friend that never allows you sink into depression no matter what is going on in your life. “So what’s going on with Christopher?” I asked cautiously loath to change the mood but had a premonition that all is not well in ‘paradise’.
I secretly vowed to make Christopher ‘die a slow and painful death’ if he hurt a strand of hair from my ‘not so saintly’ best pals head. Yes Jasmine liked, no loved guys but she is the most truthful, down to earth person I know and even though she had suffered a similar faith in the hands of a guy in the past like me, in her own way she was always straight with men.
“Christopher seems confused and unsure of what he wants,” she said after a moment of silence. “How do you mean?” I asked with interest. “Do you know Chris still sees his ex and they chat from time to time? I have told him I am not comfortable with it but he sees nothing wrong in it and feels they are just friends,” she said with a heavy sigh. “Are you jealous?” I asked wonderingly with a smile.
Jasmine is way too beautiful, brilliant and sassy to be ‘intimidated’ by any girl so why is she feeling insecure, I wondered. “Tobs is it ok for a guy to keep chatting and visiting his ex? He even went as far as using her picture as his display picture on whatsapp on her birthday; his excuse was that she is just a friend! How will he feel if it was the other way round? Why are men so naïve? (You mean some men, I interjected) I am tired of having little tiffs here and there because of his exes.
He is either attending their Weddings and usually they ‘beg’ him to come complete with aso ebi without me of course or there are issues they want to discuss with him, that ‘only he’ can solve,” she said in frustration. “My attempts to make him see reason that you don’t play Russian roulette with an ex falls on deaf ears, it is exhausting and frankly speaking annoying.
I have decided to let him be but I will be damned if I will sit around twiddling my fingers waiting for the ‘expected’ to happen, he will surely get what’s coming to him QED,” she concluded bitterly. As she spoke I wondered to myself why most men do that, I remembered Rick who was also doing something similar with Sotonye.
Exes are time bombs that can ignite at any time, guys and ladies need to understand that the ‘Laws of the Exes’: Rule 102 says ‘Don’t hang around your ex if you have no plans to go back to them. It is dangerous and unhealthy for your present relationship and is capable of destroying it!’ Christopher is handsome and intelligent but I have long realised that when it comes to this thing between a man and woman it has nothing to do with I.Q.
Feelings even when temporal can erode common sense so why play with fire? A lot of people end up in bed with their exes even when they don’t plan to, all because they gave a sympathetic shoulder or showed concern when the ex-had issues; emotional and otherwise. Guys you need to understand this, you are not the best person to handle your exes’ troubles and she/he is no longer your responsibility. Move on please! “So what is your plan now?” I asked curious to know her next line of action. “I have decided that what is good for the goose is good for the gander, I am also going to give a sympathetic ear and shoulder to not only my exes but any man I fancy and that brings me to my present gorgeous date.
His ex-had an affair with his friend so I am going to give a compassionate ear to his problems and hopefully we’ll end the day with me ‘consoling’ him in his Pent House, it’s all innocent,” she said wide eyed, laughing huskily in a seductive way. “Jasmine!” I exclaimed. Jasmine raised her hand hushing me she said “No Tobs don’t preach, Christopher started it. It’s a b**chy world out there but I am game. Now I am thinking of how I will talk my friend off the ledge; Jasmine never does anything in half measure.