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BOUNDARIES

Boundaries you shouldn’t cross as a cheat

Amaka Nicholas

Every relationship has its ups and downs. Some people in a moment of weakness become vulnerable and confused; they just find themselves letting their guards down for people they should never get down sexually with in the first place. Let’s say theirs is an honest mistake and a one-off thing.

But there are some cheats who cheat with impunity. And cheating on their partners is something they may never stop doing even if they are happily married or in a clearly defined and committed relationship.

These people simply love variety with all the spices and distractions, in whatever form. They just love something different from the usual. To them, these distractions are what keep them sane and loving.

It’s bad enough that you are cheating, but there are certain lines that shouldn’t cross in your cheating adventure. These lines when crossed often don’t end well.

Never get down with a colleague no matter what. This is usually very tricky and complicated because it may feel like a harmless fling, but in many cases, it doesn’t end well.

Even though your colleague knows that you are married, they don’t respect you enough to leave you alone. They begin to want more, and you expect them to understand that it’s just a one-off thing. Such a scenario is common but it is a double-edged sword.

You should never be sexually entangled with your bosses as well as subordinates because it will leave you confused and embarrassed when it comes crashing down. It starts off like a fairy tale, but when reality sets in, everything crumbles.

One of the down sides of having affairs with your boss is that you end up at the receiving end. Things may never be the same again once it is over. People have resigned or gotten sacked from their jobs because they couldn’t cope with crossing paths with their former fling.

When you are horny, avoid alone time with your close friends of the opposite sex, especially if you find them sexually attractive. Good friendships have packed up on grounds of the awkwardness that followed just after the act. Be their strength in moments of weakness but don’t add sex to the mix unless you are ready to lose that friendship.

Stay away from your friends’ spouses even if they make passes at you. Reject it without a second thought. Flirting is a risky game, just one mistake and you lose everything. Many who towed this path lived to tell sad tales of regret and some are still suffering the consequences of their foolishness. It is an awful thing to do. It’s like a stab in the back. The ultimate betrayal and it never ends well.

Business partners are also people you must not mess with. Business should be well defined and strictly business. Trying to overstep such boundaries often doesn’t end in praise. Keep erotic pleasure out of business. Focus on your goals because once you go sexual first with a business partner, a lot of things are bound to go wrong.

Do not succumb to the temptation of doing your neighbours or church members. It is utterly disrespectful to your partner when you do that. Your immediate environment and worship places are clearly familiar territories, and your partner does not deserve to be looked down upon because of your insatiable thirst for things below the waist.

Your domestic staff is also a big no. Being unfaithful to your partner is one thing but doing it right under their nose with a domestic staff is downright disrespectful. Sex gives people certain amount of confidence and your staff may start to look down on your spouse consciously or unconsciously because they are having sex with you.

Stay away from your friends children, it doesn’t matter if they are above 18, have some respect for yourself. It is wrong to be running after your friends’ children like a dog on heat. Even if you don’t respect your spouse, respect your friendship with your friends.

Do not in whatever guise start molesting your own children, your in-laws, your own siblings or relations to satisfy your sexual urge. If you ever entertain such thoughts, you need to go get help immediately because it is wrong on every level.

Maturity is overrated for some people with insatiable sexual needs but you must give your horniness a sense of direction, not everyone is allowed to grace your bed or see your private part.

If you are horny and you must have something different, then go and seek the services of pleasure merchants. They abound in different parts of town and come with all sorts of name tags. These ones have no strings attached, whether you are paying for sex or getting it for free, it’s just a clear case of chop and clean mouth.

If you must cheat, go for people who are not within your social circle and people who have no direct relationship whatsoever with your spouse. Look for people who have something to lose or at stake should it slip that you are misbehaving with them, not just hungry people who live off blackmailing their sex partners for a ransom.

If you must cheat, cheat responsibly. Always use or insist on the use of condoms to avoid stories of sexually transmitted infections. Your partner doesn’t have to pay for your irresponsibility.

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Tokunbo David
Tokunbo David

Writer and editor.

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