Seeing couples who have been together for decades can be a delight. Listening to them talk about how their love have endured the test of time gives you hope in the marriage institution. It is obvious however, that it is not easy to have a lasting marriage. Marriages will have their moments of conflict. Meanwhile, in healthy relationships, the husband and wife search for answers and agree to make it work because they love each other.

For couples who want to spend the rest of their  lives together, love is not defined by emotional highs and lows, but dependent on a steady and unflinchingcommitment to the union. Some couples offer insight into their marital relationships that have spanned decades.

Johnny: Physical attraction is important in building a lasting marriage

The first time I saw my wife, I was attracted to her beauty. To me, a relationship begins with a physical attraction of some kind.

That doesn’t mean you have to be a movie-star handsome, but your spouse needs to look at you and be attracted instead of getting angry because of the way they look as both of you age.

Maintaining physical attributes involve maintaining a healthy weight and looking as good as you can for your partner, especially if you want to keep the sexual spark alive in your marital relationship. My wife and I did just that. We have been married for 24 years and I still desire her like I did in the past.

Glory: We have weathered storms by laughing at our foibles

My husband and I have been married for more than 25 years. Our marriage longevity secret actually isn’t a secret at all. We make a conscious effort to remember that it’s not about “me” but it’s about “us”. With this philosophy and the ability to laugh at our many foibles, we have weathered many storms.

Chukwudi: Our relationship worked because we gave our best

My wife and I recently celebrated our 21-year marriage anniversary. Our marriage continues to bring each of us such joy and happiness that we share with our 3 sons.

Our relationship worked because we gave our best to it. Ours is a 50/50 relationship. Our union is filled with great love, trust, honesty and fun. We enjoy spending time together, take anniversary trips and make sure we have dates every weekend.

We love movies and can finish each other’s thoughts out loud. I pray that we continue to be good example for our sons so that they can also have successful relationships with their wives when the time comes.

Marriage is a commitment, and when couples are committed to each other, it becomes very blissful.

Yetunde: We allowed each other grow

Commitment to our marriage, laughter, as well as shared values has kept us for 22 years. We also allowed each other to grow and change.  We are not perfect individually, but we are close to being a perfect couple because we are both committed to each other and our family.

Bernard: We don’t take each other for granted

I have known my wife for 32 years and married for 28 years. One of our secrets is not to look down on each other or take each other for granted.

Many times, when couples spend decades together, they’ll begin to take each other’s feelings for granted.

After our 10th anniversary, my wife and I made a pact not to take each other for granted no matter how old we become. I listen to her grievances without looking down on her, while she pays attention to mine without interrupting or making light of the situation. This stand has helped us stay committed to each other amidst the many challenges we face.

Margaret: We never stopped communicating however angry with each other we were

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My husband and I have been married for over 35 years and we never stopped communicating. No matter how mad we were at each other, we talked. And through the years, we have maintained that policy to never stop talking to each other.

Abiodun: Friendship is as important as love

I married my best friend. My wife and I enjoyed our marriage because we were first friends before anything. As humans, we typically look forward to being with friends we relish their company. We relax with them; share common interests and talk openly. So, cultivating friendship among married couples remains one of the secrets of a lasting marriage.

Think back to the playground when you were a child. Your spouse should be that other child you would most like to play with. All marriages undergo a transition from the initial thrill of romantic attraction and overwhelming sexual desire to the stages when couples need to make conscious efforts to make their happily ever after a lasting process.

The most important thing is for couples to be good friends. It makes things easier. All the romance and the butterflies in the stomach stuff are nice but they don’t last. For a lasting marriage, build friendship.

Vincent: We didn’t take each other for granted

We didn’t take each other for granted. We also forgave each other’s faults and failings. Our union endured the twists and turns of life because we treat each other with respect.

We have worked hard to master effective communication for almost 30 years now. When it comes to communicating with your spouse, it doesn’t mean just talking, but it involves conscious listening.

Over the years, we have also made generosity and kindness habitual, committing small acts of service, like cleaning up without being asked, saying thank you and please when we should.

Jane: Love and respect kept us going for over two decades

Even after two decades together, my husband and I carve out time as a couple, take interest in each other’s passions and take steps to foster intimacy.

We take steps to keep our marriage interesting by introducing activities such as date nights, movie nights, party time and bathing moments where we bathe each other and scrub each other’s bodies lovingly.

Love, respect, and humour all came into play as we faced the challenge of raising three children while building demanding careers. My husband was a top administrative staff at a multinational company, while I was a school principal.

Our marital success came down to working it out, sticking it out, learning when and where to find common ground or just leave it alone.

Henry: We support each other’s interests

Having been married for 26 years, my wife and I have learnt to support each other’s divergent interests.

She’s a huge sports fan, while I love music and movies. I like going out, being outdoors and attending parties, while she is introverted. We support each other’s interests and allow one another enjoy our individual activities. This has kept us going during hard times.

Felicia: We go out once a month to maintain our bond

My husband and I have been together for 27 years. Sometimes, I shudder when I think about how much time we have spent together as a married couple. We are friends, we are respectful of each other and we talk. That seems to be the underlying message of any successful partnership.

We go out once every month to maintain our marital bond. We always make sure to have our moment together no matter how busy we get. We don’t let go of each other. It’s special, and helps us remember that even if we are upset, we are in love.