(…At the amphibious River Niger headquarters of the Combat Regiment, enter the acting G.O.C. Brigadier One Leg Atamuna, Officers and men of the Regiment….blaring the revolutionary lyrics of Sunny Okosun, the late Ishan Priest of Ozziddism, at the background…. “I want to know who owns the land, Papa’s land…. Africans, let my people go…. We want to rule from the Cape to Cairo, I want to know who owns the land….”)

Brigadier One Leg Atamuna: (….in triumphant swagger and holding onto the people’s Sun….) Supreme Court Affirms the Combat G.O.C. Court martial verdict on Sheriff Ali Mondudu, Boji Boji Cairo et all vs. the PDP Share the Money…. GSO, refer to the Newspaper and file details of the Supreme Court rulings Ref. On The Niger, April 17, 2017 and give me today’s Sitrep.

Col. Tongue Cutter Biko Haram, GSO: The President and the C-in-C still indisposed. Deputy says he is on his way back home. While the loquacious mouth missile, Chief Governor of Rome, wild West, delivered a direct hit…. His Excellency believes that the C-in-C is in life support. Seriously, that Governor of Rome and his voracious stomach infrastructure horse riders are heading to Abuja where he will declare for the vacant presidential seat 2019.

Sergeant Okon Bassey: From our satellite monitors, I report that the first Nyanrinya is back with no action at the other room. This important room has been abandoned since the indisposition of the president. She is naturally furious and she is of the opinion that the jackals, hyenas and the barracudas are in conspiracy with the cabal. “It is well with my husband and all those of you praying for his recovery will soon inherit our kingdom…. All of you the Muslims, including the Shiites and the Sunnis, Christians; including the Catholics, Protestants and the fanatical Evangelicals, the Traditionalists, Ogun, the god of iron, Wole Soyinka’s preferred deity, Amadioha aficionados, Idemili python snake worshippers, Onishe nne anyi, the beautiful goddess of the Niger, the mammy-water proselytes, the Senegalese and Mauritanian conjurers, OBJJJ Ogboni refined and unrefined confraternity….”

Major Olakankita Olakankpo: Otito! Enough! It cannot happen here in this barracks. This regiment does not believe in the Nigeriana conglomeration of religions. This is the only country where you have Muslims and Christians, Traditionalists, Marabouts coming together in prayers, only to return to severe each other’s limbs, decapitate each other’s head few minutes after their inchoate summit with God. Col. you will, please, report the trending Sitrep and forget the ranting of an angry disappointed lady who has lost action in the other room.

Related News

Col. Tongue Cutter Biko Haram, the GSO: Sir, the brink has without warning exploded from the East, the Biafran rising movement has collided with the Papa nwawodo Ohana-ukwu-eze banana supported Ukehe brigade. I’m afraid the revolution is about to eat up its children. The Biafran movement headed by the Supremo Commander, Maxi A.K Nnamudi K. emblazoned with their uncomplimentary primary colours of yellow, red and black are approaching the headquarters from the right. Behind A.K. is the Mbaise strike force, Anam anwu anwu anuma nwu nyu anya suicide squad, Abiriba, Ohaofia, Ogbuishi head hunters brigade, ogbunigwe human wasting division and his Excellency’s special brigade of 14 and 11 Divisions.  Papa nwawodo covered in yellow colors and peels of the banana Republic ahead of his Ohana-ukwu-eze restructured brigade is approaching from the left.

Those Governors of Rome have joined the melee and are at it again. Approaching immediately from the right is Papa Ohana-ukwu-eze nwa wodo shepherded in front by the combined forces of the South-East Governors of Rome, Ibom Akwa and the River Cross Roman Governors, who are furiously riding behind an armored black column of 6,000 bullet proof jeeps escorted by armored and hungry mobile police units! Behind these frightening kill and go convoy are the Senators of Rome, President of the Jewish Town Unions, Ogbuefi Onyia nkita, the former Vice President of the Ohana-ukwu-eze and, of course, the former president of the respected Aka Ikenga, who has no registered member from his Kaduna Nzeogwu’s home town of Okpanam. Sir, it is only the swift interference of the headquarters special commando unit can prevent an explosive clash between this two determined philosophical un-converging school of thoughts who are bent on proclaiming their selves the King of the Jews.

Major Olakankita Olakankpo: Okpami o…. Oh No! For the first time since 1914, the country was heading to one solution. The Arewa theocracy said it all. “We are tired of this Union.” Niger Delta demonstrated their angst by sticking to the Isaac Boro 1966 Kaima Declaration.

Col. Tongue Cutter Biko Haram: But Edward Klerk and that Governor of Rome the King of Brasso, Governor of abandoned properties went against the reality that was the demand of the Niger Delta Young Leaders Stakeholders.

Major Olakankita Olakankpo: Because of Masi A.K. Namudi K. Oduduwa hiding from many years of incubation is back on the table. The Anioma West Niger Ibo and the Benin hegemony have all found their voices. Brigadier Atamuna’s Igala land, the whole of the Middle Belt suddenly are celebrating their independence from the Northern strangulating behemoth. Every group knows that the banana republic is in a sludge. Something has to give in for us to start afresh, that is more of the meaning of Biafra. In other words, more than the surface thinking that Biafra connotes the physical relocation of the Igbo back to their landlocked eastern patches, Biafra is the new pride of place for every group co-exacting equally without any fear of recriminations from any dominant group in the Nigerian Banana Republic. It is sad that these same Jews of Africa, who, for the first time since Nnamdi Azikiwe, Akanu Ibiam, Michael Okpara, Odumegwu Ojukwu located a leader in the emergence of the saber-rattling but profusely intellectual A.K. Nnamudi K…This same acephalous Jews of Africa would unexpectedly from the homestead attempt to de-rope the spear head of the revolution now going on in the Banana Republic.…(with tears in his eyes…. Olakankita sobbed…. the  acephalous society of no leaders, no kings, without any reason whatsoever is striking down her stainless Mandela…. Brigadier, I submit that the Combat Regiment break ranks with neutrality but like the great actors of history move truthfully to the side of the truth.