I was to headline this article, ‘when death rejects a man.’ Reference is to the man who jumped into the canal at Mile 2, Lagos, hoping to drown. The suicidal man was reportedly overheard muttering President Muhammadu Buhari’s name before taking the plunge, but as God would have it, death rejected him. Passengers of a passing boat jumped after him, pulled him out and dumped him by the riverside before continuing on their way, as if nothing had happened. It was onlookers that called Lagos State Emergency Management Agency (LASEMA) officials, who arrived in time and ferried him to the hospital.
It is not only the man’s matter that is currently trending about the economic misfortune that has befallen this nation. Everyday now, it is either people are using their children as collateral to buy food on credit, or a woman has dragged her husband to court for stealing her money, or jailed for receiving stolen rice and beans, or venting pent up emotions on an innocent niece, pouring hot water on her for messing with ‘golden’ pot of soup.
Under the current administration, Nigerians are going through terrible times, as cost of living has skyrocketed beyond rooftops, even as earnings are dwindling and losing value. People describe economic policies (if any, or lack of it) of the Buhari government, otherwise called Buharinomics, as blunt and bizarre. Prominent economists and financial experts even say there is no economic direction at all. Nevertheless, we have continued fumbling in the dark, blaming Nigeria’s past profligate leaders.
This resort to escapism, blaming virtually every ill on ‘ex-President Goodluck Jonathan and his gang of looters’ has not helped matters. I am by no means a fan of Jonathan’s because of his hackneyed approach to governance, which, in actual fact contributed to bringing us where we are today. But we cannot entirely blame the man because the latter-day saints in APC that are shouting crucify him were the same people that frustrated every effort he made to salvage the economy by saving for the rainy day. They insisted on eating both the hen and the eggs but today, they are in government and can afford to say what they like. Of course, Nigerians know their antecedents though they are now pointing out locations of looters and their loots without telling us how much pile they are sitting on themselves.
However, aside from the man that survived the suicide plunge at Mile 2, there have been other cases of people, who succeeded in killing themselves lately (approaching the 100 mark, according to official figures), blaming the present economic hardship for their decision. Such needless deaths are cowardly.
The victims are lazy and ungodly; they have no right to take their own lives or any life for that matter and have committed the most brazen sin against God, who is the only determinant fate. As surely as there is light and day, the Author of life has never failed to make provisions for its upkeep. The only problem is that man has always neglected to accede to this fact. We have tended to look upon other sources, especially fellow men, for help and when we are disappointed as is usually the case, we opt for suicide, thereby boarding a direct flight to the gruesome abyss.
Nothing is new under the sun, not even our present situation. The Bible also told us that there was a time people were boiling their children for dinner in Israel. But God rose to the occasion and honoured Prophet Elijah’s words and there was a turnaround within 24 hours. That was just superior economics, known as Heavenomics, dictated only by Almighty God, who has proved over and over again that He is by far better manager than the best of men.
Peter, a master fisherman, suffered drought but when he accepted to let down his net at the prompting of Master Jesus, all manner of fishes stampeded to answer summons of their creator, giving Peter a net-breaking miracle. The widow of Zeraphat had only the last meal, hoping to die thereafter, but when the servant of God appeared, she never lacked a meal till the end of famine. Jesus fed over 5, 000 hungry guests at His crusade in the wilderness with a little boy’s lunch of five loaves of bread and two fishes and still had 12 baskets leftover. The same thing happened to the widow of the prophet, who was about to lose her children to slavery to her husband’s creditors. When she ran to the Source, she got more than enough to offset her debts and lived in plenty afterward.
Let no one deceive you. The APC government, like the PDP before it, has no answers to our economic crisis. In fact, things will get worse, despite their professional jargons to inveigle us. Did we not hear about subsidy removal or retention or price modulation and the like? Where has all that led us? Has petrol price, which was jerked up from N86 a litre to N145 come down as promised? Are we instead not seeing the emergence of an amorphous group known as past GMDs of NNPC, fronting for the government and tasting the waters for a possible further increase in fuel price? Did they not promise us that one naira would exchange for a dollar? What is the exchange rate of naira to a dollar now and what was it before the one chance bus came on the scene?
Why do we look unto Buharinomics, which is as confused as the times? It is time we embraced Heavenomics and escape from the scorching heat of the APC government. They have told us that the change promised us was a fraud after all; and now we should go change ourselves. They never told us then they would be stripping Nigeria naked in the public sphere. Now, they want to embark on the cyclic sale of national assets to their proxies. And very soon, if not that Nigeria is bad market as it is, they would be putting it up for auction.
Just note this: “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing.” Psalm 34:10.
Therein lies the only hope for receding mankind, and Nigerians in particular; only if you believe.
Dame Patience tackles Magu
Nigeria is a case study of the very absurd. When Ibrahim Magu took over at EFCC, many thought they had brought magun (the Yoruba thunderbolt for adulterous wives) or mugu, a fall guy. Along the line, the man has proved he is neither. However, former First Lady, Dame Patience Jonathan, is now in strange tango with the man in what can be aptly described as hilarity of greed. She alleges that Magu wants to ‘steal’ her twenty thousand dollars, but the EFCC boss rightly wants her to prove how she earned that much money, being a mere housewife. Characteristically, even Niger Delta militants have been drawn into the fray, threatening to put Nigeria on further boil if Magu dares to touch Auntie Patie or fail to release ‘her money.’ Well, Magu is not giving in yet and time will soon prove if he is for real or a mugu.