Wonders shall never end! So the relentless and rancorous attack against President Muhammadu Buhari by Governor Ayodele Fayose of Ekiti State was a desperate attention seeking strategy by the later to secure the notice of the former. In local parlance, such cheap overtures are described as ‘notice me or I die’.
The scenario is reminiscent of a troubled childhood which manifests in controversial demeanor. Reminds me of a sad story many years back in our undergraduate days in the University. My friend was dating this tall, dark and handsome young man from a prominent family. We all envied her for the ‘lucky catch”. It was therefore incomprehensible that what seemed like a promising affair came to an abrupt halt at the instance of my friend. This guy from the outside was every lady’s dream, epitome of the Prince Charming characters in Mils and Boon romantic series that had had us girls in constant reverie of our Prince in shinning armour. ‘I cant deal with his sense of insecurity, its choking me,’ she confided in me one evening as we sat quietly far from the prying eyes and ears of other female students in the hostel. Not satisfied with her vague response, I demanded for a detailed explanation; wouldn’t watch my friend lose a golden opportunity that landed on a platter of gold. Loosing this meant a loss of social status for all us.
Then my friend opened up, sounded weird at that time, never heard anything like that before. Insecurity in the life of a well heeled son of a notable citizen appeared strange. The beau was raised by his father and step-mother, without any connection to his biological mother. Starved of affection by his step-mother and her children, the lonely lad was left to his own devices. The only way he could get the attention of his very busy father was by getting into trouble. Every flogging session was preceeded by a lecture, the father would gently explain the reason for the punishment, pointing out the consequencies of the indiscretion which called for several strokes of the cane. While massaging his backside after the infliction of penalty as retribution for the offence, the father in a benign tone would admonish him to be of good behavior and desist from any future action that would warrant being caned. The young man relished these private sessions with his father, the only way therefore to secure these periods of filial relation was through deliberate deviant behavior! So as an adult, the beau needed constant reassurance, he was suspicious of every move my friend made and for a young girl it was too much a burden to bear.
Hearing Governor Fayose bemoan not receiving Presidential felicitation on his 57th birthday on Nov 15 was a major shocker. To make matters worse, President Buhari led the chorus of good will messages for his predecessor, Dr. Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, who turned 60 on November 20.
The reason for this ‘apartheid’ treatment is not far fetched. The cliché, ‘Politics is a dirty game’ was taken to new heights by Ayodele Fayose, whose constant verbal assault on the Number 1 citizen is devoid of any decorum. In an unprecedented display of acrimony, the governor spearheaded a death rumour against the president, an action considered sacrilegious in our culture. Goaded on by his cheerleaders, he prattled on recklessly, thinking his actions signified boldness while in reality, he was downright rude and clearly disrespectful. Compared to the approach of former president Jonathan who in spite of several criticisms from his successor who blamed him for everything including the weather, never deviated from the ambit of civility in all his responses.
This brings us to the current communication gap between the younger people and the ‘old school’ brigade. In an era when boldness is touted as a prerequisite for success, many fail to draw the line in their relationship with their superiors, turning a virtue into vice. In gesticulations, body language, tone of voice, what many assume as boldness is actually an act of insolence. It is not uncommon to see young children square up to their parents or teachers simply because they are encouraged to ‘fearlessly’ express themselves. Little wonder a new hire would engage an older colleague or senior.
Considering the importance of social skills as a major determinant of professional success, impertinence whether in the home, in the work place or social circles has serious implications.
‘Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners……’-Emily post.
In your interaction with others, it is pertinent to guard against attitudes that may be regarded as an act of impudence capable of damaging important relationships.
Are you bold or simply being rude?