Mothers of teenage daughters need to think about their daughters’ dating in advance. They shouldn’t wait until it’s too late to give their daughters dating advice.
Dating is fraught with challenges and it is important that mothers help their daughters understand the important concepts behind having a good dating experience so that they don’t miss the fun and the socializing aspects of dating.
Mothers need to share these five important dating pieces of advice with their daughters.
Be confident in who you are. Starting the dating years with a good self-image and a level of personal confidence makes all the difference in the world.
Helping your daughter understand whom she is and what she stands for is important during this time when insecurities can creep in. Remind her that she is always enough, and that she doesn’t have to do anything to fit in.
Set your own boundaries. Deciding in advance the boundaries she will establish in dating is important. As a mum, you should help her think through boundary issues.
For example, how will she act when a young man raises his voice or otherwise demeans her in his presence? How will she react when a guy tries to get physical or make sexual overtures? What will she say when the guy is driving and doesn’t appear to respect her?
Guys that are worth dating will respect a girl that sets appropriate boundaries. Make sure that she knows things to allow or not. Let her know that you are just a text or a phone call away when she is out on a date.
Guys are not into drama. Despite the fact that teenage girls seem to be all about hidden messages and reading things into every nuance of a relationship with their friends, guys are not that sophisticated.
If she has a rough patch in her dating relationship with a guy or experiences some teenage jealousy, talk about it and then get over it. Bringing it up again and again only strains the relationship further.
Dressing modestly is empowering. Help her understand that what she wears not only reflects on her, but is also an opportunity for self-empowerment. Being comfortable and modest will allow her to focus on the things that really matter and let her beauty shine from the inside out.
Although dressing fashionably can be fun, it shouldn’t be the primary reason a guy likes her. She should keep the important body parts covered, and do it stylishly, and she will set the appropriate stage for the right kind of dating relationship.
It is okay if you want to date and okay if you don’t. It is not every girl that is ready to date at a certain age. Encouraging your daughter to have social experiences in groups can be a good precursor to dating, and mums can encourage these group hangouts by making their homes teen friendly.
Your daughter should not feel pressured by you, her friends or others to date before she thinks she is ready. You can help her have the confidence to say no when she wants and to say yes when she is prepared.
Make sure you communicate what is important and help your daughter feel confident and comfortable as she enters the world of dating. You can help her have a good experience and enjoy her teen dating years.