The number of children being exposed to pornography without an understanding of how it can damage their young minds is highly disturbing. The only way kids can stay safe in a digital world is to install their own internal filter.

It’s impossible for parents to monitor their kids’ digital exposure every minute of the day within and outside the home, so it’s important to teach them how to respond when they see pornography.

The first way it would help is by minimizing the shock value when kids are exposed and encourage the kids to talk to a parent when exposed, thereby reducing the shame associated with pornography use and keeping it a secret. Shame and secrecy can compel a child to go deeper into the use of pornography.

Fathers can help prevent their children from becoming addicted to pornography by not underestimating their child’s curiosity. Fathers should protect their kids from soft-core porn as much as possible. They can do this by putting blocks on sites their children may be able to access.

After defining what pornography is, teach your kids that pornography is tricky because it evokes two conflicting feelings at the same time. Kids may feel a pleasurable physical response and feel repulsed, horrified and upset emotionally. Explain that pornography can become an addiction.

Fathers can also view talking about pornography as an extension of talking about sex. Once young people know about sex, parents can say that if the young person has any further questions about sex as time goes on, they would be delighted to answer them. This openness to answering questions can be repeated again and again.

Be upfront and acknowledge your child might want to go online to try to find out information about sex and they can end up seeing sexual content and pornography. Give them adequate warnings about accessing adult sites and offer to explain any questions they might have.

It is important to communicate the following messages: Porn is not real, it is a performance. If a person is not clear about this fact, their confidence can be knocked and their expectations and ideas about sexual relationships can be negatively impacted.

Do not assume that a young person who is not keen to ask questions about sex or pornography has no curiosity about it. They may be embarrassed or self-conscious. Normalise these feelings by saying, “It might feel embarrassing or hard to talk about sex with me but I think it’s important that we talk. The more we do, the easier it will get as it will just become normal conversation.”

Don’t feel under pressure to give lots of information in one conversation. Like conversations about how to manage friendships, or how to manage peer pressure, conversations about sex and pornography can take place intermittently over time. Opportunities arise or can be created as young people grow and develop.