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Being a Dad : Simple steps that curb sibling rivalry

Are you tired of your children fighting over who gets to be first? Who gets to sit in the front seat of the car? Who gets served ice cream first?

The idea is simple. Every week, one of your children will get priority with privileges. Then next week, it’s someone else’s turn.

Keep all your kids on rotation and let them know that if it’s not their turn this week, it will be soon. This simple process can greatly curb sibling rivalry.

In curbing sibling rivalry, let your children know that everyone was created equal. Jealousy is a prime factor in sibling arguments. That monster can create upheaval in your home.

Your children are vying for your attention and affection. Let them know you have more than enough love to give and always be fair and balanced in the time and attention you give each of them.

Build team work. Try to plan regular activities that require your children to work as a team. This will promote cooperation, trust, and bonding.

Set a privilege timetable. Siblings remember every detail of what was given to whom and when. Set a timetable for these landmarks and stick to it. If the timetable must be broken, make sure you give a clear and reasonable explanation as to why.

Step aside. A father can’t resolve every issue. Sometimes when siblings are fighting, you just need to walk away. They need to learn to resolve their own conflicts. In fact, tell them to take their argument outside. 

Create fair family roles. Let your eldest child know that they should set a good example for their younger ones to follow. Every person in the family has a role. Point these out.

It is important to understand the talents and flaws of your children. One son might be a great athlete and the other might have a gift for music. Never apply a “one size fits all” technique with them. Just because your oldest son loves playing football, does not mean your other son will. Discover the unique traits of each of your children and nurture them.

If you have a child with special-needs, they will require a great deal of your attention. This can be difficult for your other children. One thing that can help is allowing them to be involved in the care-taking process. This also applies when children are sick or have injuries. Offset the extra attention by including the whole family in the treatment.

Sometimes, children need time and space to be alone. For instance, your older daughter is in her room talking on the phone with her friends. Her younger sister keeps intruding on her. This will surely cause conflict. Create a safe zone for each child to be able to have time alone and make sure it’s respected.

Make a point to spend time alone with each of your kids on a regular basis. Your attention will mean the world to them.


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June 2018
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