By Rita Okoye I f there is anything Nollywood actress, Uche Elendu wants badly; it is the freedom to glide on commercial motorcycle (okada) as a way of beating the Lagos traffic. Also, rather than delegate responsibility, she would love to patronize popular markets where she can haggle freely with market women. “I want to…
Hello, singles in the house! Do you want to know what the new normal is? The new normal is to ask for your new partner’s STD’s status before getting down. Your potential partner shouldn’t just say it with his mouth that he is clean; you should both go to a hospital before you get in between the sheets.
Every partner you intend sleeping with must be tested before you agree to sleep with that person. I’m not going to pretend here that our single ladies are not having sex; in fact, I am going to assume that every single person is having sex because the rate of sexual promiscuity is very high now compared to some years back.
In these times when many unmarried couples are cohabiting and living like they are already married. We are in the era where having a one-night stand is fashionable and you shamelessly share your sexual conquests with your friends.
Moreover, getting laid is as easy as ABC and so you don’t have to be emotionally entangled with that person before you get what you want. These days, men and women sleep with anyone they fancy, and when they are done and tired they hop into another person’s bed. In this time and season, there are no commitments.
Therefore, you should understand why I am assuming that no one stoops to conquer again when it comes to having sex.
Sex! Sex! Sex! It is everywhere and if you are not doing it you are not cool. And the more sexually promiscuous a person is the more likely the chance of the person contacting an STD.
Are you already in a relationship? It is not too late to ask your partner to go check his/her STDs status.
If you are a runs girl, I don’t care the number of men you sleep with; I think you should ask every guy you intend sleeping with about their STDs status before you sleep with them, if not, insist on a condom.
If you are double dating, that is you are cheating on your spouse, make sure you know about your own STD’s status and ask from the others too.
Also, if you are married, you shouldn’t be left out, especially if your husband is a serial cheat. Please this should be one of the conditions you give to him when he comes back home or you wear a female condom.
However, I feel couples should go for regular STD screening even if they are married. For those of you who have caught their husband cheating please do regular screening because some of these guys won’t even tell you they got an STD.
A lady told me that she didn’t know her husband was treating sexually transmitted diseases until she stumbled on his prescriptions in his wardrobe. After she found out, she checked herself in the hospital, she tested positive and began treatment. Since then, she never allows her husband have sex with her without protection.
So, why I am so paranoid about STDs today? The reason is that now, getting an STD is as easy as being bitten by mosquito. Therefore, I recommend that getting tested before having sex should be number one rule for every sexually active single person.
Don’t wait until the deed is done before you start panicking that you must have contracted something. STDs don’t care if you are tall, rich and handsome. STDs can’t even tell if you are a slay queen or not. STD does not respect anyone. So, to prevent this, make sure your partner is cleared before sleeping with him.
Even if he appears to be perfect and you have not noticed anything during your quick make out, that means nothing. Many STDs show no symptoms and so you and your partner may have an STD from a previous relationship and not know.
A male friend of mine told me about a friend who was always taking antibiotics prescribed for him by a chemist whenever he got an infection. Unfortunately, this guy had a girlfriend somewhere he was sleeping with who didn’t know his STD status.
Moreover, Herpes and HPV are so common among people who have frequent sex. Many people with genital herpes don’t even know they have it because they have no symptoms, so it is important you get protected. I am not saying that everyone who is having sex will get sexually transmitted diseases but what my point is that if you are sexually active your chances of getting an STD are very high.
Besides, if you love your boyfriend that much and you are afraid you might lose him if you suggest to him to go get tested and he refuses, then insist on a protection. Don’t let emotions becloud your reasoning. Sleeping with a guy without being certain about his STD status just because you want to prove to him that you love him is not love, it is stupidity.
However, this write up isn’t for people who are abstaining from sex. It is for the sexually active. If you are abstaining, that’s good, but I am not going to pretend that everyone is abstaining when I know that a lot of young adults are having sex like it is going out of fashion. What do you expect me to do?
Please don’t come and tell me I am encouraging people to have sex, these young adults don’t even need anyone to tell them to have sex. After all, they have been hearing all the sermons in churches, mosques and other places that abstinence is the best way to stay away from STDs and HIV/AIDS. So, since little or nothing has changed I think it is my responsibility to encourage these people to practise safe sex.
I remember some years back, a sister went to evangelize to a brother in his house because they had not been seeing that brother in church. Do you know what happened afterward? They had a sex steaming evangelism at the end of the day.
We should quit the pretense because no matter how you preach and threaten some people with hellfire their sexual appetite cannot be born again. These people have a problem controlling their libido and it is not my business cajoling them to stop having sex. I really don’t care who goes to hell or not because of sex. I think a grown-up person who is sexually active should know what is good for him or her.
However, aside from the fact that you don’t want to get infected with an STD, you also need to have a clean bill of sexual health, especially if you have been having unprotected sex for a while, because carrying any traces of an STD can pose a threat to your health too. Many STDs show no symptoms but if left untreated it can lead to a long-term health issue. For instance, having herpes or gonorrhea can increase your chances of HIV. Left untreated, gonorrhea or chlamydia infection can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease. While untreated chlamydia can cause infertility in women and high-risk types of HPV can cause cancer of the cervix.
Honestly, I am sorry I sound like a medical textbook this week but I think if we are loving hard and having sex as much as what we are seeing around, then we should also be informed about what the consequences of our acts will be.
Getting to know about your STD status doesn’t mean that your relationship should come to an end. Don’t fret because all these diseases are treatable even HIV can be treated. The sooner you know your status, the better you can protect your health and the health of your partner.
Remember, having an open and honest communication is very important in every relationship and there are ways you can communicate to your partner about having an STD testing. Let your partner understand that you are not judging his or past sexual history and make sure that there is no form of accusation whatsoever. Make him understand that your sexual health is very important and you are only interested in making the two of you safe. Show your own STI’s history, if you had before; it is important you disclose it. I understand it might be embarrassing but it will be unfair to withhold such information from the person you love.
Never be pressured into having sex with someone who is unwilling to get tested or discuss sexual health with you. Remember, love is no longer blind and you have to get into a relationship with your eyes wide open. If your partner is not willing to participate in these steps, please DUMP HIM! It means that he is not responsible enough to be sexually active.