For every baby mamas and daddies out there, stop fighting fire with fire. It is better you both have an honest conversation for the sake of your child
Bolatito Olaitan
Last week Wizkid and Nike Football released their official collaboration shirt to the public. The 2018 Wizkid Co-Creation Stadium Shirt was used to celebrate the star boy Nigerian roots and his record label. The shirt was sold out online in ten minutes and WizKid wrote online “That was fast! Sold out in 10 minutes! Love u all like crazy!”
However, after the success of the shirts, Wizkids baby mama’s all came out with venoms accusing him of not doing his daddy duties. It was quite messy and I am sure this won’t go down well with Star boy
and his team. Although I won’t be dwelling much on WizKid’s baby mama drama but I have decided to share this so that I can address the sense of entitlement of many Baby mama’s amongst us. I remembered sometime last year, I wrote an article titled “I want to be a Baby mama too” and the summary of that article was that many women deliberately become pregnant for their rich boyfriends in order to have a share of what he owns. For these women, their babies are their trophies; meal ticket and they guard these with their lives.
A man who gets entangled in any baby mama web is in for many woes because these girls are shameless and without scruples. These girls have no name to protects and they fight dirty. They don’t care and so they can take the drama to your office just like what Wizkid’s baby mamas did last week. Wizkid is the one with the name and fame to protect; they have nothing so they are ready to soil all that he has achieved for himself.
One of the reasons some baby mamas behave in this manner is that they get bitter when their partners move on after their relationship has ended. In many cases, most of them still have hopes of reconciliations and so they become extremely vindictive when an ex moves on. Even when they don’t have feelings for that partner again, knowing that they have been officially replaced can trigger all kinds of emotions. And for those who have been genuinely cheated they feel slighted because the new lady is getting all what the baby mama always wanted but never got it from his baby daddy. I can go on and on this but I am of the opinion that its high time baby mama’s stopped feeling entitled to their baby daddies. They should stop being shameless and behave in a more responsible way. Stop making unreasonable demands on your baby daddies’ time and money. Stop the rude comments and threats, it doesn’t help anyway. It is no one’s fault you slept with a man without protection and if you are capable of bringing a child into the word, then you should be ready to put your hands on deck and be responsible towards your child too. Since you didn’t wait for him to wed you properly that child shouldn’t be used as a meal ticket.
Got get your lazy ass off the couch and work! Stop building your dreams around that child. You have a life to live and just move on. It is selfish to turn your child into a sort of “GoFundMe” that will fund your luxury lifestyle. It is wrong!!
However, I also have a word or two to all baby daddies too; first and foremost it was also irresponsible of you to have unprotected sex with a woman without making adequate plans. A man who sleeps with a woman without protection should be ready for the consequences and having a drama queen as a baby mama is one of them. The only reason you can get a cure for this is to check the underlying cause of this everyday drama from your baby mama. Ask yourself, have you established proper communication between yourself and the mother of your child? Are there proper limitations, restrictions and boundaries? If not she will continue to torment and use that child as a tool of punishment in your life when you both have a strained or displeasing relationship. Another interesting fact is that many baby mamas have put up a front that they don’t care about their ex-relationship with any other woman but deep inside them, they are hurting because in some way they feel they have been wronged theirs. They feel that ex doesn’t deserve to be happy in your current relationship.
Moreover, if your baby mama thinks she is bearing an unfair share of the responsibilities for raising the child you both have, she may begin to resent the all the sacrifices she has been making taking care of your child.
Dear baby daddies, whether you like it or not, you fathered a child and so you must have a working relationship with your baby mama in order to co-parent that child. You don’t have to be together for this to work out, mature people map out plans for this and it works for them. If you have not been a responsible baby daddy, this is the time to man up and change. If you have the ability to impregnate a woman you, you should be ready to play the daddy role too. You should always be willing to do what is right and necessary for your child.
Dear baby mama, another interesting angle to this is to go through a legal process to substantiate rights to your child. Get a lawyer involved to get an agreement drafted and it should be properly executed. Fighting a war through the courts is better than making noise and embarrassing yourself like a motor park touts.
Woe! Unto any baby mama who is frequent at the place of work of his baby daddy! There are other means of settling things amicably instead of going to his place of work to threaten him. How is he going to care for that child when he lost his job? I have heard countless stories of women who stalk their baby daddies to public places like beer parlours, clubs and hotels. They go there and fight and then the crowd will get free Telemudo subscription. They will watch them scream and almost pee in their pants watching them making a fool of themselves. Stop using your child as pawns to gain leverage with your baby daddy and remember money is nothing compared to the love and guidance two parents can provide to their children. If you have done all your best and your baby daddy is still irresponsible towards his child, take your war to the courts. If there are no changes still because I know this is Nigeria, leave him and, he will eventually pay the price for his wickedness. Yes! There is always a consequence for our actions. Give your child the best within your means. Quite being vindictive and make the best decisions for your child.
For every baby mamas and daddies out there, stop fighting fire with fire. It is better you both have an honest conversation for the sake of your child and get to know yourselves better. It is better both of you are in your child’s life and have a united front than fighting every now and then. It is very important for your child to see that you both are on the same team and otherwise.