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‘At 59, I’m in love with my 49-yr-old lecturer’

Dear njigirl,

i am in love with my professor. I am 59 years old and enrolled in an adult certification class in a community college in another town. The instructor is 49 years old and extremely attractive. I cannot keep my eyes off her and I know she feels something for me too. I summoned courage only last week to ask her out and we ended up in a hotel room.

We made the best love of my life. Now I know what I am missing in my own relationship back home. The class will end soon and I am dreading going home and not seeing her again. She makes comments like; “It is one of those things; you would get over it” playfully but the truth is that my heart is torn into many pieces and may just burst out of love.

I am ready to give up everything I have, my wife, work for a chance to spend the rest of my life with her. She thinks that I am a fool and that love is a fantasy. Am I a fool Njigirl? Please help me as I am going crazy. I have never felt this strongly about anything before. 

ν Alex

Dear Alex,

You are playing a very dangerous game and I urge you to get a grip on yourself before you lose everything that you have worked for. What you are experiencing is very much like what is known as infatuation. This describes an emotional or passionate state of mind that is both unreasonable and unrealistic. The instructor is wise enough to know that this is usually non-lasting hence her statements to you as you described above: “It is one of those things; you would get over it” and “You are a fool and that love is fantasy.” While I may not agree that love is fantasy, I do agree that this is purely a one-off hot-pantsy affair and that yes, you will soon forget her and move on with your life. I guarantee you that the only time you will remember her moving on is when you glance at the certificate of achievement by your desk and then you will  hatch a secret smile remembering your hot steamy passion in that hotel room one hot afternoon. This experience does not warrant you to drop everything from your real life to go and meet someone who believes you are only worth an afternoon of steamy hot passion, which she has neatly tucked into her list of vampire adventures with you being her victim for that period.

My advice to you is to bundle up that experience and tuck it in your excitement gear for use whenever your libido is low so that it can rev –up your adrenaline and put you in motion for all that good stuff.

Bottom line, forget about her and move on. I will not venture to ask you if your wife has neglected herself hence your need to discard her and jump on a hot instructor.

ν Dr. NJ

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