By Paul Ojenagbon
As ridiculous as it sounds to the ears, a recent incident reported by a cross section of the media about a man who is being incarcerated by the police authorities because he named his dog “Buhari” is certainly one “joke” taken too far. May God deliver us from evil of this proportion.
Our police can, sometimes, be real busy bodies and the unfolding script shows once again the dexterity of the police to imagine and pin a charge no matter how ridiculous, on their accused. A popular comedian in time past aptly waxed this hilarious side of the police into a time-tested joke: some policemen had been at this particular checkpoint for several hours looking for culpable motorists who would pay their bill.
It was a frustrating exercise because almost every motorist seemed to be compliant and at about midnight, a Volkswagen (don’t kill the beetle!) came by with a lone occupant who was a born-again Christian who was asked to park and to submit himself for checking. Everything the Police asked for, he had it but they (Police) would not let him ago “why are you driving all alone in this car at this unholy hour of the night?”they demanded.
“I’m not alone, how can I be alone? Angel Gabriel is in this car with angel Michael, Elijah, Elisha, the Holy Spirit and even the Saints!”The man replied.
“In this small car?Then we charge you for overloading!” barked the Police Sergeant .
For many average Nigerians, it is difficult to wriggle out of Police accusations once they are levied and it often takes money to do so. Even when such accused persons are proven innocent of the charge, they would still have to be bailed out with a sum of money that’s never refunded. This is what a lot of Nigerians go through every day. The not so lucky ones are accidentally “dispatched” to the great beyond or marred for life.
According to the report, the man, a 41-year-old trader from Delta State had been arrested and detained at the Sango Ota Police Station on August 13, 2016 for naming his dog Buhari. The man said he only named his dog after President MuhammaduBuhari because of the love he had for the President. After his initial release, he was detained again. Since then, the man has been under the incarceration of the police authorities and said that his life and those of his family members were now in danger.
However, the twist to the tale is that the man was arrested on the orders of one Kalihu, a public toilet operator in their Omikunle neighborhood who accused him of naming his dog after Buhari (his father and not necessarily the President for that matter) just to taunt him and the members of the Hausa community. The Police have since pinned the charge of causing public unrest in that community on the man!
Even if the decision to name his dog Buhari or any other name was stupid and mischievous, when did it become an offence to give a certain name to one’s pet? Most people with pets normally give them names of people they love and not often those they loathe. A popular Octopus that died some time ago was named Paul, yet the great men of this world who bear this name did not take it as an offence that an animal should be their namesake.
Come to think of it, not many would name their pets after their enemies. Would they do it to spite them? Maybe. Taking the matter beyond the shores of the country, to the United States precisely, I am sure more Americans would rather name their dogs “Obama” whom they are inclined to love more than “Osama Bin Laden” (who bombed them and they are likely to love much less). But if the Police account is true that the victim inscribed the name on the dog, it could follow that the man’s action was designed to provoke but the reaction should not take more than some strokes of cane to teach the man some lessons in community relations.
The police treatment of this citizen for whatever reasons given, is tantamount to killing a mosquito with a sledge hammer. Issues such as this could have been resolved amicably with the dog owner accepting to de-inscribe the name on his dog, perhaps rename the dog and pledge to be of good and acceptable behaviour within the community in the future. It doesn’t call for his indefinite detention. There are more serious community cases for the Police to handle than simple pranks such as this being played by a man who has taken his sense of humour too far. If he was a comedian, would he have been arrested? Certainly not,because comedians “insult” tribes and persons every time and they are not arrested.
It is unfortunate that the President’s name is being dragged into the matter but unknown to many who thought the man was apprehended for daring to name his dog after the President, it is not so. But just as America’s President Barack Obama would have had a deep-throated presidential laughter over the entire episode if he had been involved, we expect our own President to react in a similar manner and to quickly put his overzealous police officers in check over this matter.
Ojenagbon writes from Lagos